Recover
by rhiwe
Summary: Sam deals with a death, and finds out that she can recover. Oneshot.


Sam sank down to the ground by his grave. She shook uncontrollably as the tears streaked down her face. Alexis knelt beside her, and gave her a hug. Sam clasped onto her mother, and let her sobs release.

Alexis could only hold her daughter and stroke her back, murmuring soothing words. Sam finally calmed herself down, and was able to stand up on shaky legs. She grabbed Alexis' hand, and the two women walked slowly out of the cemetery; they were among the last in a long line of people saying goodbye to the man that had touched all their lives.

Sam stopped just at the edge of the cemetery, and looked back at the fresh grave. Her face, normally so beautiful, was tear-stained and sad. She sighed mournfully and resumed walking with Alexis. The two women walked to their car and made their way back to the lake house. Sam went straight into a shower and then went to bed.

Alexis opened her door, and said softly, "Sam, honey, are you awake?"

Sam rolled over. "Yeah…I don't know if I'll be able to sleep right now, but I know I need to. I haven't slept right in days."

Alexis sighed and sat on the edge of Sam's bed. "I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do or say…but I know there isn't right now. Just know that you can come to me for whatever you need. I wish…I wish you could just have the chance at happiness that you deserve."

Sam scoffed. "Yeah, well, I think I used up all those chances." Her eyes began to water again, this time because of all the regrets she felt inside.

"Don't punish yourself anymore. Everyone makes mistakes. You have owned up to them, and you started to move on. What happened had nothing to do with you."

"I know…but it doesn't make it easier. All those times, when I was with Jason, and he was in constant danger, and nothing ever happened. But Lucky…he was working for the good of this city. He got a call, saying that it would be a risky situation, but that he might be able to eliminate Trevor Lansing for good. I told him not to, but he went. He left, and I tried to convince him to stay! I tried to h-h-hard! But he wouldn't! Oh, mother, why wouldn't he stay!" She wailed now, as Alexis pulled her into a hug.

Sam struggled to restrain her emotions, but soon exhausted herself, and cried herself to sleep. Alexis walked quietly out of the room, and walked to her own, before letting her own tears flow. She cried for Lucky, because he was too young to die; she cried for Luke and Lulu, because they didn't deserve to go through this; she cried for Nikolas, because he had lost so much lately; and most of all, she cried for Sam. Sam had finally thought she could move on and find love with Lucky. They had finally started a life for themselves, separate from Jason and Elizabeth. They were happy, and now this.

A week later, Sam walked into the cemetery. She knew she was only hurting herself by coming again so soon, but she couldn't help it. She sank down by his grave, and ran her fingers over his name.

"I never thought I would find love with you; but I did. You helped me get past everything. I love you more than I ever thought I could. You accepted me for who I was, and let me into your life. I wish…God, Lucky! I wish you were here. You didn't deserve this. G-God I miss you already!" She broke down in tears, and draped herself over his headstone.

She didn't stop even when she felt strong arms wrap around her and pull her close. She was crying so hard she couldn't open her eyes; but she knew who it was. She would recognize the feel of his body against hers for the rest of her life. In the past, she would have loved the feel of his arms around her, but now…she just wanted Lucky.

Slowly she calmed down, and Jason pulled back, still with his arms around her. "Are you okay, Sam?"

She nodded slightly. He dropped his arms, and shifted uncomfortably. "I'm…I'm sorry to intrude. I just wanted to pay my respects, I didn't know you were here until I aw you crying like that."

She took a deep, shaking breath, and let it out before replying. "Thank you for comforting me Jason. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I know you hate to be around me."

He shook his head. "I don't hate you Sam. I don't think I can hate you. I hate what you did, and most of all; I hate how things are between us. I owe you more than just respect; you've saved my life and helped me more than you may know. When I told you before that I would always love you, I meant it. It doesn't change the fact that both of us are no longer the same people we were when we were together. But it does mean that I still feel for you."

Sam's eyes shimmered with tears as she looked up at Jason. "Th-Thank you. I'm so sorry for everything Jason. I never wanted things to be this way. And…you know, Lucky was the one who understood that. He could see the good in me, even though I was just a broken woman. He was the one who helped me heal, and move on from everything. We were there for each other, and now…now I just feel lost."

Jason nodded. "I wish I knew what to say. I can't seem to find the words to help anyone with this."

Sam hadn't really thought about it before, but she asked, "How is Elizabeth taking it?"

"She…" he sighed, "She's pretty bad. She feels like she never made peace with him finally, and she'll probably hold onto that regret for a long time."

Sam shook her head, "I tried to tell her that Lucky and I were happy together, and that you two being together was no longer an issue. I wish she would understand that. I…there was just so much Lucky and I wanted to do together, and we never got the chance. It's just unfair."

Jason nodded, "You know, as surprising as this may sound, maybe you should talk to Elizabeth. It might help the both of you."

"You might be right." Sam and Jason started walking out of the cemetery, and just before she turned down the path going the opposite way, she looked up at Jason and grabbed his hand. "Thank you again Jason."

He smiled at her, and pulled her in for a hug. "You're welcome Sam."

The two parted ways, and headed back to their own homes. Sam sighed as she sat down back at the lake house. She looked out the window, and began to feel the healing begin on her heart. She would recover; she always did. 


End file.
